As part of the London Bloggers Meetup ‘bean themed’ meme that’s doing the rounds, here’s my attempt to win a luxury beanbag from Ambient Lounge.  Ambient Lounge’s designer bean bags are hopefully worth the effort that went into compiling this list of bloggers and their ‘bean’ equivalents. Random…

If London Bloggers were beans… what would they be?

TikiChris would be a Polynesian Green Bean

Because ‘Tiki’ refers to large wood and stone carvings of humanoid forms in Central Eastern Polynesian cultures of the Pacific Ocean. The term is also used as it relates to M?ori mythology where Tiki is the first man. If you know Chris (and you’d have to have been blogging in an isolation tank not to know him), Chris is definitely the First Man of the London blog scene, which is why I’ve made him the first in this list. For those of you interested in finding out how to make a tasty Polynesian Green Bean Salad, look no further than here. Warning: Yum Factor 10.

You can find Chris’ blogs here: http://tikichris.wordpress.com/

Epicurienne would be a Mexican Jumping Bean

Putting aside the fact that the last time I saw Epic was over dinner at a fab Mexican eatery (the name escapes me) where we shared a few frozen Margherita cocktails with our new spouses… Epicurienne is always fun, full of energy and relentless in her bounciness – much like a Mexican jumping bean or Jairo jumping bean which is a seed pod through which the larva of a small flea has chewed. The seed does not actually jump so much as wiggle because when it gets in a hot place the larva snaps its body hoping to roll to a cooler place. Spend an evening with Epic and you’ll see her wiggle as the temperature rises and she’ll be the one to follow on for a cool after-partaaaay.

Read Epicuriennes’s delicious blog here: http://epicurienne.wordpress.com/

Niamh from Eatlikeagirl would be an aromatic dish of Irish Beans

Healthy, honest, rustic, homely and unspoiled. That’s Niamh in a nutshell – unpretentiously delicious. Her love for all things food have won her many-an accolade including her recent listing on The Times Newspaper’s 40 Blogs That Really Count.

Irish beans are essentially baked beans but usually with less added sugar compared to traditional American and British baked beans. You see, she’s naturally sweet enough!

For those that know Niamh, you’ll testify to her all round oveliness and passion for blogging. Thanks Ireland – we’ll be keeping her in London forever.

Read eatlikeagirl’s  gastronomical adventures here: http://eatlikeagirl.com/

Lolly from BlogTillYouDrop would be French Beans

Too obvious? Perhaps. But hear me out… Varieties of les haricots verts have been bred especially for the flavour, or sweetness of their pods (and yes, like her name… Lolly too is a big sweetie!). And mirroring Lolly’s blog, French beans have a universal distribution – consumed by cultures all around the world and appreciated by all.

Discover Ooh La La Lolly here: http://www.laurenceborel.com/ or read the London Bloggers’ interview here: http://www.londonbloggers.net/422/the-blogger-interviews-laurence-borel/

The MyChemicalToilet blog’s author Stuart Waterman would be a humble tin of Rijoles Beans

The UK’s best known music event blog, whilst seasonal in much of its content focus is the Daddy of the festivals. So too is the tin of rijoles beans according to the Dry Bean Festival which takes place in the US of A every year in the town of Tracy, California. Now that’s one festival I’m sure Stuart would love to let his loyal readers know about. Although I think he’ll have to provide his own music for this get-together (beans-induced-bum-trumpet=flatulence anybody?)!

For the best, most up-to-date, from-the-horse’s-mouth festival news, read Stuart’s musings here: http://www.mychemicaltoilet.com/

Tom from the Ridiculant would have to be a laughing bean

What’s a laughing bean? Well if you’ve ever read the excellent Ridiculant column (nay, PAGE) in the morning Metro newspaper then this is the kind of shizzle that the talented Mr Phillips writes about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daWKQI29gpU

For more web-sized delights, visit the Ridiculant online: http://theridiculant.metro.co.uk/

The Sluttilicious Sian Meades from Sianyland and Domestic Sluttery fame would have to be a portion of Jimmy Beans Gourmet Coffee Beans covered in luxurious chocolate

http://www.jimmybean-online.com/

OK, so not as high end as fashionista Sian’s Jimmy Choos, but Jimmy’s Gourmet Coffee Beans are every bit as delectably scrumptious as the designer yumminess that she usually writes and tweets about.  The philosophy is simple: take something special, coat it in something even nicer – and there you have it – the embodiment of lushness. The same goes for Siany!

Follow her devilish exploits here: http://www.sianyland.com/ and http://www.domesticsluttery.com/

Ged Caroll the Renaissance Chambara Man would have to be an Edamamme Bean

Firstly, I’ve yet to meet anybody in London who is so up to speed on Japanese culture. Edamamme has affectionately become known as the Hoxton Peanut – as sushi bars around London stock up on the morish snack. You can have it with salt or with dried chilli – just pop the pods and munch. Like Ged’s daily link summaries (you must subscribe to these), a bowl of Edamamme can be a satisfying meal in itself and once you sample the goods, it’s difficult not to crave more.

If you haven’t read Ged’s blog – stop reading mine straight away and go and see how a pro does it: http://renaissancechambara.jp/

Malcom Eggs from The London Review of Breakfasts can only be baked beans (what else!?)

Immortalised by the Johnny Cash song Beans for Breakfast, no full-English would be complete without a portion of baked beans (Heinz or any other brand).

“Wish you’d come back and wash the dishes, I’m a hungry nasty lonesome man
Caught a cold with the window open, crow droppings o my window sill
Probably got histoplasmosis, got no gun or I would kill them crows
Beans for breakfast once again, hard to eat ‘em from the can.”

Now that’s proof that the late Mr Cash certainly had a way with words, but if you want to meet a modern day wordsmith who knows a thing or two about where to have the most important meal of the day, you just need to visit this site: http://londonreviewofbreakfasts.blogspot.com/

The clever fella behind the Londoneer Blog would have to be a Pearl Bean

Never heard of pearl beans? Put away your Oyster Card, the reason I chose the pearl bean for the Londoneer is a reference to the Pearly Kings and Queens of the old East End. Pearly Kings and Queens, known as pearlies, are an organised charitable tradition of working class culture in our great capital.

The Londoneer also mentions the Hackney Pearl cafe in a recent blog post about Urban Picnicing (http://thelondoneer.blogspot.com/2010/08/urban-picnic-hackney-wick.html), so I thought I’d be all clever and assign him the pearl as a bean.

Anyway, if you want to discover London from the point of view of someone who lives and breathes it, go here: http://thelondoneer.blogspot.com/

Annie Mole would be a Castor Bean

The castor bean is sometimes called mole plant from the practice of placing castor bean seeds in mole runs where the rodents will hopefully eat the seeds and perish. When you spot a castor bean growing in the middle of someone’s lawn, you can bet that the moles missed one. Now I have to declare that I am not advocating the poisoning of moles here – and in particular, if anyone even suggests being horrible to the wonderful Ms Annie Mole then I’ll confiscate your iPhone Tube Map for a whole year.

Annie Mole’s London Underground blog is so famous that if you google it, it often appears above the official TfL London Underground website! The blog has been going since 2003 and it reveals a wickedly funny look at all things Tube based.

Submerge yourselves here: http://london-underground.blogspot.com (don’t forget to Mind The Gap).

Steve Waddington would be a Runner Bean

Apart from the fact that Steve is one of the co-managing director of Speed, the London based PR agency launched in March 2009 he also joined Admiral PR & Marketing as non-executive chairman in January 2010. The guy’s got insight that even Gandhi would bow down before, and his Speed and agility earns him the title of chief Runner Bean.

http://wadds.co.uk/ and http://www.speedcommunications.com/blogs/wadds/

Will Corden couldn’t really be anything other than a Splendid Espresso Caramba Bean

(given the fact that he works at my old agency Splendid Communications)

Sadly our paths never crossed as I had moved on before will began his time at Splendid but judgng by his blog, the coffee bean is an apt moniker as his content is full of energy and provides mental stimulation with every read.

Discover Will’s World for yourself here: http://willcorden.wordpress.com/

David J Lowe is definitely a Locust Bean

He’s fast becoming one of my favourite Londonites – a seriously intelligent guy with a lot of creative business ideas which make you want to shake him in hope that some of his knowledge will accidentally spill out of his big brain and hit you on the way out. Why the Locust Bean? Well having had the pleasure of having dinner with David on a couple of occasions and hearing him talk about the future of tech marketing, it’s clear that this guy’s gonna clean up the market. Not just clean up, but create a powerful swarm of creative consciousness that will be visible from afar.

Also, Locust Bean Gum can induce sneezing fits which is lucky as David’s blog is called Sneezy Head: http://sneezyhead.wordpress.com

Chris Reed (a.k.a. The Ginger Monkey) is a plate of Talsani (Green Beans with Ginger)

OK, so you see what I did there? I Googled “Ginger”+”Bean” and came up with Talsini (http://www.aayisrecipes.com/2009/11/05/green-beans-with-ginger-beans-talasani/). Big whoop. But wait… upon closer inspection, there lies a hidden depth to my bean selection process…

Chris Reed – PR by day. Web evangelist by night. Music fan at the weekend. Full time ginger and dad. In short, Chris is a man of complexities rivalled only by an exotic Bangladeshi dish like Talsani. Fiery chilli, fresh green beans, finely dissected onions, soothing ginger… look no further than his brilliant blog and you’ll see where these layers of flavour manifest themselves: http://thegingermonkey.blogspot.com/

Mauricio Samayoa is the undisputed King of the Green Coffee Bean

The time that Mauricio spent working in El Salvadore (yes, LinkedIn is wonderful) is part of the inspiration for this bean selection, which is a native crop in that part of the world. But aside from the geography, Mauricio is well suited to the smooth, suave, richness of character that is associated with the Salvadorian green coffee bean.

If you want somebody who is extremely knowledgeable about word of mouth PR, he’s your man. There’s nothing green about this seasoned comms guru. As well as being one of We Are Social’s busiest bees, Mauricio is also a new dad, which means that the coffee sure comes in handy after those sleepless nights!

Read Mauricio’s blogs here: http://www.mauriciosamayoa.com and http://www.theguanaco.com

Michelle Lyons is a Castanospermum australe (Austrailian Black Bean)

This Antipodean beauty is a wonderfully complex bean which was used extensively as a cabinet timber.  Cabinet? How apt, considering Michelle’s impressive experience in Government comms – most recently within the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. The castanospernum austral has a beautiful exotic flower which sums up Michelle to a tee.

Read her work here: http://michlyons.wordpress.com/

Rachel Clarke would have to be a Stringless Bean

No, not as in silent violin… as in she ‘aint no puppet on a string! Rachel’s vast background in comms means that she is the go to person for excellent strategic advice. She is vocally eloquent in her writing style and her posts do pack a punch. That said, she’s also bloody nice. Really nice. So much so that I always tend to hover around her like a mosquito with personal boundary issues at the London Bloggers Meetups. Great conversation guaranteed.

As well as catching her regular appearances as a news reviewer on Sky News, you can see what she’s all about here: www.digitalstuffing com and www.blog.bibrik.com

Godwyns Onwuchekwa is undeniably a Velvet Bean Extract (Mucuna Pruriens)

His skill for penning Erotic fantasies in poetic form makes him Mr. Velvet in my book. The Mucuna Pruriens is also a well known aphrodisiac – useful after reading some of his steamy posts!

Read his work for the Justice for Gay Africans Society here (really great site): http://jfga.org.uk/blog/

Tom from tiredoflondontiredoflife.com is a Guarana Bean

For those of you who tend to steer well away from energy drinks, Guarana is a bean found mostly in Brazil and it has 3x the amount of caffeine as coffee. Chemically it is very similar to coffee beans but much more potent. Which is why, if you’re tired of life in London, Tom’s blog will definitely provide an instant pick-me-up with lots of great ideas of things to do and see in this great capital of ours.

http://www.tiredoflondontiredoflife.com/

Zoe Bran would be a handful of Mescal Beans

Mescal whaaaaat? Mescal Beans are also called sophora secundiflora beans, Colorines, Frijoles, Red Beans or Texas Mountain Laurel. Mescal Beans grow as a shrub that has violet flowers and these bright red highly toxic seeds or beans which have been used in jewellery and crafts for centuries. In addition to this they have also been used for hallucinogenic purposes by tribe shamans. It is said that one bean can cause a death of an adult individual. Not that Zoe would advocate that on her blog. She focuses on the healing aspect of Shamanism.

Prepare to be wowed here: http://www.shaman.uk.net/

Julie Bodart wins the much coveted title of Cocoa Bean

Coming from Belgium, she has the claim to the bean from which chocolate is made. Mmmm…. Yum. Apart from being Belgian Julie blogs about all things digital comms.

Read her views here (they’re very good): http://www.juliebodart.com/#f55/wordpress

Lewis Webb would have to be Java Decaff Smooth Roast Coffee Beans

If there were an election tomorrow to vote for the King of suave, Lewis would win hands down. As well as being one of the main organisers of Shoreditch Twit, Lewis also spends his days at Ketchum, coming up with creative digital PR campaigns for some amazing brands. You can’t get smoother than Lewis. FACT. He’s decaff too, because the guy’s unflappable. He’s just cool… personified.

Learn more about the Webb master here: http://www.lewiswebb.com/

The wonderful RadioKate would be a six bean casserole

The fact that Kate was campaigning hard to save BBC Radio 6 from closing down, makes her a good contender for this feast of a meal (http://www.bigoven.com/recipe/165075/six-bean-casserole). Just like the dish, RadioKate’s blog always provides wholesome views which are at times extremely inspirational. Read her recent post on all the Good Things she’s done this year: http://radiokate.com/2010/07/27/good-things/

http://www.RadioKate.com

Ben Matthews is a Bright Bean Salad

As the founder of BrightOne Communications, nobody could doubt Ben’s ‘Bright’ credentials (he is very, very, very smart). This Bright Bean Salad recipe is very easy to follow and can be put together in no time. http://www.ifood.tv/recipe/bright_bean_salad

You can reach Ben at BrightOne Communications: http://brightone.org.uk/

Abul Hussein is going to have to go down in this list as Greek fassolia gigantes beans

No, I’m not making it up – there are actually beand called fassolia gigantes… and yes, they do come from Greece. But why pick these for mobile blogger Abul? Well he goes by the name of Adonis in blogging circles and those of you with some classical knowledge will be aware that Adonis is a Greek God  (the young lover of Aphrodite, no less) so what could be more fitting than humungous Greek beans!?

Abul is also a GIANT of the blogging world. Read his work here: www.adonisdemon.com and www.adonismobile.com

The delectable Liz Ayan is a bean-counter. No two ways about it

I don’t mean that in a boring Accountant way, but more as an accolade and testament to her blogging work within local government. In times when every penny counts and budgets are stretched tighter than a gnat’s chuff, Liz seems to cut through the red-tape and put things into some framework that makes sense. It just does.

Read Liz’s insights here: http://www.lgeoresearch.com

Melinda Seckington is a Geeky Bean

End of. She just is: http://geekybean.com/

See why, here: http://missgeeky.com/

Cristiano Betta is a Kopi luwak bean

As a new cat owner, Cristiano may be aware of the infamous civet coffee which is affectively known as ‘cat poop’ coffee where the coffee bean is ingested by a civet cat and then pooped out to make apparently superior blend of coffee. Sounds lovely.

As a developer, Cristiano must already be used to burning the candle at both ends and as such would know a thing or two about the importance of good quality java.

Read his blog here: http://blog.cristianobetta.com/

Melanie Seasons has to be a Red Noodle Bean

Firstly, I have to say that Melanie is one of my new favourite bloggers of all time. Ever. She’s fab. Her blog fakeplasticnoodles is part of the inspiration for this choice of bean. Secondly, Melanie describes herself as a ‘red’ person: http://www.my-homebased-business.com/personality-type-color-red.html

If you want to know why I rate her work, just read some of her blogs: http://fakeplasticnoodles.com/ and http://omnomlondon.com/

Mex Ibrahim is a hiccup inducing portion of Spicy Beans

How else would you make Tex-Mex platter? http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/spicy-beans-tex-mex-recipe.htm

Mex (and yes, three letter names ending in ‘X’ are all the rage, I hear) is a major force in community management blogs. What Mex doesn’t know about social media quite frankly isn’t worth bothering with.

If you want to be kept up to date with latest online trends, sign up to her bits and pieces here: http://meccaibrahim.co.uk/

She also blogs elsewhere…

Gillian Edwards is definitely a Jelly Bean

Writing under the Minxology title, Gill is fun, fruity and very sweet. Having worked with Gill many moons ago, I can safely say that if you’re looking for someone with a diverse skill-set and lots of creativity – Gill’s your gal.

Explore her Minx-like exploits here: http://minxology.blogspot.com/

Ruthy Isadore is a chick pea

Yup, it’s a bean – not a pea! Ruthy is a real gem of a blogger. She’s so full of life and is a refreshingly bubbly member of the London blogging set who is guaranteed to have you smiling within the first few seconds of meeting her. She’s a fun, chick with a wonderful sense of hummous(!)…

Find out more about Ruthy here: http://uk.linkedin.com/in/ruthisadore

Matt Churchill is a (Seldom Seen) KidneyBean

The man behind the Seldom Seen Kid is a purist in his approach to working digitally. As a blogger, and generally subversive type, being honest, transparent and holistic in what he does both personally and professionally, is very important to Matt.

As well as writing about digital campaigns, Matt is also a keen music aficionado, and his blog often contains some great insights into the musician’s mind (e.g. http://geetarchurchy.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/inside-the-mind-of-a-music-blogger/).

Seldom Seen but Often Read: http://geetarchurchy.wordpress.com

Kai is a Fava Bean kinda guy

Because he’s so reliable that you can always depend on him to help out as a fava (favour). Tenuous bean naming? Perhaps. But the truth remains that Kai is a real gent and has a solid reputation within the London blogging circuit as a bit of a party animal. He’s the guy who looks seemingly sober when you meet him at the end of the night but looks can sometimes be extremely deceptive!

Kai is a kickass product designer, focused on user experience. Take a look at his work here: http://kaigani.com/

Matt Brown is a Soy Bean

For those of us who regularly read theLondonist.com, you will be familiar with Matt’s scientific knowledge.  Here’s a  scientific fact for Matt : In 1932-33 the Ford Motor Company spent approximately $1,250,000 on soybean research. By 1935 every Ford car had soy involved in its manufacture. For example, soybean oil was used to paint the automobiles as well as being used as fluid for shock absorbers. Ford’s involvement with the soybean opened many doors for agriculture and industry to be linked more strongly than it ever had before.

If you want a less nerdy read on scientific matters, read Matt’s work at: http://londonist.com/

Peter Marshall is a Camera Bean Bag

When I met Peter Marshall at one of the London Bloggers Meetups a while ago, I was impressed with his immense passion for photography. I shouldn’t have been surprised, as Peter is one of London’s best photography bloggers. Which is why he deserves a camera bean bag (http://www.camerabeanbags.co.uk/).

Plus – he’s a really genuine guy with a lot of interesting stories up his sleeve. If you see him at the next LBM, buy him a pint.

Read his blog here: http://re-photo.co.uk

Andy and Katie Bargery are a pair of Black Eyed Peas

London’s blogging equivalent of Posh and Becks, Katie and Andy are the founders of the amazing London Bloggers Meetup and are the unsung heros of many a great blogger party.

Yes, they’re both as cute as a pair of baby panda bears, but that’s not the logic behind the Black Eyed Pea reference. They’re both Black Eyed Peas because when the next LBM comes along, we’ll all be singing…

This song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA

Read their blogs here:

Me

Oh… and finally, If I were a bean I could only be this guy:

See you next week at the London Bloggers Meetup: http://www.meetup.com/blog-395/calendar/14537348/ on September 8th.

[It's Bean Emotional]